One of the reasons for my blog is to record differences between the British culture and those of Thailand and Singapore. I didn't realise that coming back to the UK would actually highlight more of these differences than going away, although the unforeseen burglary has been responsible for most of these findings. Now I don't want to sound like a grumpy old man, but.....
Khamma was understandably upset by the burglary and wanted to know why the culprits could not be brought to justice by parading them in front of the whole village to face the victims and forcing them to do something useful for the community as part of their punishment. After this humiliation the leader of the village would then formally ban them from ever coming back and if they were unfortunate enough to be a resident he would invite them to leave the village for good. No such policy in the UK has been suggested to my knowledge, but isn't this an eminently sensible idea?
GOAL: UK 0 Thailand 1
One thing has worked out well in this episode is the way the insurance company activated the repairs. Within six hours the door had been boarded up by an enthusiastic engineer armed with a power screw driver and a box of three inch screws. Somehow I think in Thamuang it could have been done a bit quicker, but there isn't much in the way of insurance formality to comply with. Nevertheless Khamma was bemused that I had to go through a series of phone calls to get somebody to come out, but imagine her surprise when we found out it will take about two weeks to make the new frame when it took four days to make and fit two big windows, made from similar materials, for Owerrrouse. In the UK there are building standards where doors, windows and so on are supposed to be the certain size to maximise production runs and make it easy to replace according to fashion or whim? The UK team have used this so called progressive formation for many years but today the Thai side have managed to break the plan down with swift action to score a splendid goal against the run of play. The Thai players are over the moon and the UK side look beaten already.
GOAL: UK 0 Thailand 2
The same enthusiastic engineer fitted a new front door lock and all seemed to be ok, although I didn't test it because I assumed he would. I learned a long time ago that assumption is the 'mother of all cock ups' and this latest assumption from me was no exception. Late the following day I tested the lock just before we went out and found it could be locked and opened from inside the house but could only be locked from the outside. You've guessed it we locked ourselves out!!!! Luckily there was someone still in the house so another drama was averted, but now inconvenience is being piled on top of inconvenience. After several pointless attempts to produce the result I really wanted, i.e. the lock to open, I phoned the company the enthusiastic engineer worked for to request him to revisit to make the lock work in the way it was designed. This is the point where British bureaucracy triumphed and left Khamma bewildered and open mouthed. The man at the other end of the phone could not authorise the revisit because his computer said 'no' (in the tone of Matt Lucas in Little Britain!). He needed permission from the insurance company and it was my job to phone them so that they could phone him and he could tell his, by now less than enthusiastic, engineer to come back and put the job right. So I phoned the insurance company and the girl at the end of the phone agreed she would tell her computer to get in touch with his computer and then he could phone me to arrange a time to put the job right. Twenty four hours later we are still waiting for the phone call. In Thamuang the job would be have been sorted out in ten minutes. This common sense approach by the Thai team has resulted in a spectacular and well desrved goal and the underdogs go into half time with an unasailable lead of three goals to nil. The UK is beaten. The players heads have gone down and the manager looks as though he is getting ready for the sack. The crowd looks like a company of sick parrots and some are leaving the ground already.
GOAL: UK 0 Thailand 3 - HT
Today we visited the Tesco superstore in Stockport and for an unknown and strange reason we decided to sample the food in the cafe. We left after not being able to find a clean table and noting that the hot food counter was a battlefield of dead chips, dried and hard peas and crusty burnt round the edges pies, and that was just the appetising food!! This may be me being a bit grumpy but I still have the memories of the Thailand's and Singapore's restaurants and hawker centres fresh in my mind with the fresh food cooked to order, smiling service and good value. I apologised to Khamma for the very poor representation of the English culinary experience. The UK team are defeated and the Thai players are content to play the ball around knowing that victory is assured. This surprising last goal is not celebrated by the Thai players out of respect for the humiliation already piled on to the UK team. The UK team have a lot to learn and their complacency is something to be addressed. It is clear that their false and self acclaimed superiority has been borne out of a systematised approach to finding the most complicated solution to the simplest of tasks. This premise has been the UK game plan for many years and the new teams from Asia are focusing on this vulnerable aspect of the UK game. The UK is a broken team with no leader to help them rebuild.
GOAL: UK O Thailand 4
Full time: UK 0 Thailand 4 = Game over!
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