On my last visit I had ordered a new pair of spectacles to replace the ones I had broken when I fell against the plate glass window of a 7/11 store in Singapore. From time to time, over the passing weeks, thoughts had crossed my mind,in preparation for the inevitable, about the various things that could go wrong. At Top Charoen opticians we were greeted by a trio of smartly dressed staff and I was instantly recognised as the ‘farang’ customer from a couple of months ago. My new frame was gently placed on my face and various measurements taken to ensure the lenses would be fitted correctly. However after a conference involving everyone except me it was decided my nose was too big! This was pretty obvious really because when you take a look at the average Thai specimen and compare the two, you will conclude the farang nose is rather big and mine is a little bit bigger than most due to genetics and getting bashed several times in my youth whilst playing football. So here is something to remember; spectacles for the Thai market do not cater for the average farang snout. There followed a lot of activity to find a replacement pair with a wide enough bridge to fit me. The search resulted in only one suitable frame out the whole stock in the shop. For better or worse, probably both, I settled for them and the lenses were fitted into their final resting place.
The one thing that cannot be done in Thailand is to rush things along at an English pace, and this is especially so in Ubon Ratchatani opticians shops when trade is slow. So about an hour later the final product appeared from out of the back room. I was asked into the fitting room, the gleaming spectacles were placed on my big nose and I was requested to read from a prepared card. I just stared at it and there was increasing concern until the three assistants in their smart uniforms and Khamma in her smart dress, realised the card was written in Thai. Laughter all round and eventually a happy ending.
We left the opticians and discovered the bus to Thamuang was not leaving for another hour so we decided to eat and Khamma chose a café that made Greasy Gwens roadside takeaway look like a Gordon Ramsey Five Star! We had the ‘all in’ beef noodle which would give a Big Mac a run for its money. It literally included the guts and intestines as well as the chewy meat and gristle and noodle designed to look like the entrails. It was surprisingly tasty but I thought I was letting myself in for trouble with a dose of the early morning Thamuang two step shuffle.
The new garden
The new chicks
The rising football stars
Back in Thamuang I found a few new additions to Owerrrouse. A vegetable garden has been created and is coming along nicely even though the hot sun this time of year is parching everything to a cinder. But chilli peppers are thriving and the tropical shrubbery will need some harsh control in about six months time. Most surprising is the addition of half a dozen four day old chickens. I don’t think we can afford to become too attached to them though because they are being fattened up for the table and will ready in four months time. In the rice field directly behind the house a football pitch has been created complete with bamboo goal posts. Each evening from about 4.30 it seems nearly every boy in the village aged between 10 and 15 turns up for a game. It reminds me so much of my youth at ‘the Rec’ where each summer we play everyday regardless of the weather and how many on each side. I hope Peter Reid the manager of the Thailand national team is reading this because he could do worse than keep an eye on the young tigers from Thamuang. Eventually when it is too dark to see the ball everybody goes home. It is an amazing gesture from Khamma and her brother that they allow all these kids to run around in what amounts to their back garden every day. Even the ball they use is the one I bought for Yo about a year ago. The boys are so well behaved and they follow the rules very fairly with no arguing or fighting. But not content with just a football pitch there is also a beach volleyball court.
After a family meal Khamma and I left the whiskey drinkers and joined other party animals at the local temple where there was a fairground and a stage with live Morlam music. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Morlam it is ‘the music of Issan’, which is the name given to this area of Thailand. Some of it is actually quite catchy as it basically follows a western rhythm and beat, but there is a hard core element that is very similar to story telling and therefore a little bit beyond the understanding of the farang. The gig was predictably hard core and everybody seemed to be enjoying the festivities. For me the main focus was on an instrument called a ‘karn’ (possibly wrong spelling). It is a version of the pan pipes but produces an ethereal sound, very earthy and mysterious. It doesn’t look that easy to play but the additional skill seemed to be following the singer as she weaves her story about daring adventures and comical stories from the Issan region.
So the eventful first day back in the village drew to a close, and on the way back to Owerrrouse we could see the stars and galaxies, and I couldn’t help thinking that the global economic troubles, wars and suffering was passing by this part of the world, leaving it in peace to have fun.
The Morlam gig at the temple
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