Photos from the party

Gloong Niaow in full swing

The band is playing at the house blessing.

See San the builder at the front of the band on the far left swaying to the rythmn.

Khamma is dancing and even Mama starts to shake a leg!

We played for about thirty minutes before the ceremony commenced.

Also the drunken youth. I'm not sure who he is shouting to at the end of the video, or why. I'll leave it to your imagination!

Gloong Niaow - Video 'interview' with leading man

See the 'interview' with one of the leading men in the band.

Just in case you miss it he says 'Take picture?'

The House Blessing (Part 3)

After about half an hour the music stopped and the chief of the village started to parade the flower arrangement, so carefully prepared by the older ladies during the morning, around the house in a clockwise direction. He was followed by almost all the guests (more accurately the ones who were sober) and several of them were carrying gifts of things like bedding, floor mats and cooking utensils(probably bought with my money come to think about it).

I stood taking photographs because I was in the dark about what was going on and what I should be doing, but Khamma grabbed hold of me and I joined the parade. After three laps of the house we stopped at the front door and a rather important looking man in his sixties started to speak and another man about the same age and stature appeared to be wanting to enter the house. He was acting as a traveller and after a while the rather important man invited him into the house. After he crossed the threshold everybody else followed and we all went upstairs into the lounge by the windows. The floral display was central to proceedings and Khamma and I together with Clare, Pell, Yo, Khamma's mama and Khamma's uncle sat around it, on the floor, in a circle with the rather important man.

Whilst this was going on the traveller man made a bed on the floor and tucked himself up, much to the amusement of everyone and the perplexity of me and Clare. He was only kidding (?) and then he joined the circle.

Several requests were made that I should cross my legs in the Lotus position similar to Buddha himself. But I denied these for the simple reason that my legs will not bend and stay in that position! Thereafter we started the proceedings. Firstly a reel of white string was unravelled and passed around the circle with each person holding it in their hands which were in the prayer position. The rather important man started speaking but it was all in Thai of course and I didn't understand a single word, but I did understand that my knees started to cramp and hurt like mad. I was slowly getting hotter due to the cramp and because sixty odd people were sharing the same one hundred litres of oxygen available at that moment in Thamuang. More laughs as Khamma mopped my brow!

The rather important man started some chants in honour of the house and finished by dipping a large flower in the water from the floral display and anointing the honoured people in circle. It was all very informal and the two rather important men turned out to be retired monks. I suppose they hire themselves out when the real monks cannot make it.

The string was then wound back onto the reel which in turn was passed around the assembled congregation who snapped off lengths long enough to tie around a wrist. So, very soon Khamma, me, Clare, Pell and Yo had several white strings tied around our wrists and many of them had money tied into them. I counted forty five strings around my wrists and collectively we had 7,000 baht (just over £100). It felt like we were making money hand over fist!

It was actually very genuine and I was very touched by the generosity of our guests. Money is not easy to come by in this part of the world and it says a lot about the people of Thamuang that they readily give to the farang and his partner and their children.

When the string was tied most people went back outside, but, it was declared that the beer had run out. Guess where most of the 7k went! Past caring by this point we started a jam session with the pin guitar and three or four drums. I was well into this now and we started to rock again, with lots of laughing, hand shakes and looks of disbelieve from my daughter who by now was seriously questioning her father's sanity.

Our guests started to leave and the party gradually ended. What a lovely day it had been, and even though I didn't know what was in store from one minute to the next I would not have wanted it any other way. Khamma's family have made me very welcome, the people of Thamuang have opened their lives and allowed me in, and I feel very privileged to be a part of this fascinating village.

After a post party discussion we eventually went to bed, but everybody had to sleep upstairs because the spirits were still active downstairs and it would be bad luck to share a good night's sleep with them.

We woke up at dawn and watched the sunrise over the fields. Som buun (Perfect).

The House Blessing (part 2)

Waking up in an empty house felt a little bit strange, but I knew everybody would be at 'Owerrrouse', so I showered and wandered round to see what was going on. I was a little bit surprised to see so much activity; a group of builders was frantically finishing off the roof to Khamma's 'Kitchen Thai'. This is basically a spacious outside kitchen open to the fresh air and a common feature in this part of Thailand. In fact it is a pretty good idea because most of the wet work is carried out here and small charcoal fires in clay tubs help save on the gas bills. Another group was fixing a leaking water pipe and there was a small whiskey drinking group sat around the tables under the gazebo.

Clare was the centre of attention with many of locals peering to get a closer look and 'pressing the flesh' of the farang white skin. She was also being plied with Leo beer, not bad for 9.30am on a Friday morning!

As I joined her Khamma appeared with breakfast of rice and the freshest beef ever cooked in a fragrant spicy sauce. I realised the beef I was eating was walking around about three hours earlier and when I enquired the butchering group consisting of about six or seven of the 'senior' menfolk was pointed out to me. Before dawn two fine specimen cows were slaughtered and now the meat was being taken from them and passed to a group of ten or so womenfolk that was cutting the meat to cook in different recipes over about three or four open fires. Another smaller group of women was preparing vegetables, spices and other exotic pastes and two heroines were continually washing up.

Meanwhile the 'senior' women were preparing a flower arrangement for the central feature of the blessing.

Amongst these groups were children of all ages running around and having fun. The party had already begun and it was a continuous 'sanuk' (fun).

The morning passed quickly and soon lunch was served. We were not surprised that the only choice was beef. The whiskey and the brandy were in free flow and it was fairly evident who could and who could not take their drink!

I had no idea what the order of events was other than the party officially started at 3pm and the band was due to arrive around the same time. In fact Khamma told me that the abbot from Thamuang temple was not going to be there and the blessing was not going to the spiritual Buddhist experience I was anticipating. As usual I hadn't got a clue what to expect and I was just going with the flow.

During my previous visits to the village I had shown a great interest in the gloong niaow (drum band). This is a group of menfolk playing various types of bongo type drums with one of them playing a 'pin' which is a three string electric guitar that has been tuned in the key of 'curious', but actually can sound good. As it was the week of my birthday and Khamma bought me a gloong! I was invited to join the band.





I followed the preparations of kneeling in some kind of prayer, but had no idea what to do. I expect I looked gormless. Then we wiped talcum powder over our faces and the drums, again I had no idea why, but then the band burst into a pulsating beat and hypnotic rhythm, it wasn't exactly the samba from Rio, or the Blind Boys from Alabama, but WE are the Gloong Niaow of Thamuang!

It was great fun and the audience danced and clapped and took the sanuk to higher levels.

The House Blessing (Part 1)

What a weekend we have just experienced! So many things to remember and write about but I'm not sure where to start. Maybe I should start at the end because even now after being back in Singapore for a couple of days I am still finding it difficult to come down from the experience. I am elated and truly happy.

I was particularly pleased that my daughter Clare was with me in Thamuang to see the house, find out what all the fuss was about and to meet so many wonderful people who made us feel at home.

The previous weekend Clare travelled back with me from the UK for a holiday in Singapore, and the timing was perfect for her to come to Thamuang for the house blessing. I am sure some of you will understand how important this is and how pleased I was she was at the house and play a part in the festivities.

Clare and I left Singapore on a Wednesday afternoon flight to Bangkok and after checking in to the Marriott Courtyard - we recommend this hotel - we visited the night market for some bargain gifts and souvenirs. Next morning we toured the Royal Palace and the Reclining Buddha before going back to the airport for the short flight to Ubon Ratchathani.

Khamma and her sister greeted us and we were soon back in the village eagerly wanting to see the house. I was not disappointed. What a difference there was from a few weeks ago. There was still plenty of activity but the floor tiles were laid, the spa bath installed, the electricity was working, the kitchen was fitted, the bedrooms had beds, the upstairs floor varnished and brightly polished. It looked fantastic.

But that wasn't all! There was the hustle and bustle all around us of the preparations for the party. Cousins, aunts and uncles all busy doing something; erecting gazebos, setting out tables, washing glasses; singing and laughing and smiling and everyone curious to say hello to the farang and his farang daughter.

Inevitably there was 'to-ing and fro-ing' between Khamma's Mama house and 'Owerrrouse' and this occupied us until around 8 o'clock when we stopped everything to go into Ubon for the penultimate night of the Candle Festival. More on this later. Finally we crawled into bed for the last night in Mama's house.
Next morning the public address system burst into life playing the latest tunes from the Morlam charts followed by the chief's daily update about life in the village. My Thai is improving because I understood he was announcing the names of various people who had donated funds to the temple. However it was 5.30 am and, to be brutally honest, I wasn't interested in the slightest about who had donated what. But it was the signal for Khamma to get up and start supervising the party preparations. I eventually woke up at 9am to an empty house.

Update on the house

Khamma tells me the kitchen is finished and looks beautiful. San the builder man has to finish the kitchen roof but otherwise the floor tiles, units, hob and granite work tops are in. The bath has been fitted but the plumbing is currently being installed as is the water supply to the house.

San continues to fit the window shutters and treat and varnish the upstairs floor. I hope he makes a good job of this because, despite my constant 'yak yak', the builders insisted on slopping cement and rendering all over the floor when tiling the bathroom and finishing the inside walls. Khamma was a bit annoyed as well so I expect San will be under scrutiny.

The inside walls are being painted and reported to be looking good.

The main jobs are almost complete but it looks like the final completion date will not be until early August. We plan to move in on the 18 July and all of us are really looking forward to it.

The second breach of the 'make tall' wall has been repaired by dumping about five lorry loads of soil on the outside of the wall to counter balance the pressure from the inside. A simple solution and one that was unanimously agreed upon amongst the men folk. I think this will be OK especially as Khamma's uncle, who is really nice chap and a retired teacher whom I can trust, agrees as well. This is an example where the farang (that's me) probably is best advised to keep quiet and let them decide. They having been building 'make tall' walls in rice fields for donkey's years, what do I know about it?

The other breach will be repaired after the party because it is holding up fairly well, especially as San improvised with a metal guy rope which is attached to the reinforcing steel in the wall at one end and the house pillars at the other. So far the house hasn't budged an inch.

Tomorrow Khamma is going to buy the cow for the blessing party and it will be kept in the field until the early hours of the morning of the 18 July (the big day). It will then be slaughtered and butchered. I do feel a bit sorry for the poor thing but this is another example of life going on and rather than taking the moral high ground or opinionated pomposity, I think it best to join in and enjoy the local customs as much as possible.

As I sit in my home in England on a cold and wet Monday night in July, Thamuang seems a very distant place. But in my mind I see it is alive with Khamma's excited chatter and constant laughter. It is alive with the steady industrious 'toings and froings' demanded by farming rice mixed with the hope and prayers for a decent rainfall. In my mind I can see the colour of the fields stretching into the distance with the lonely figures of people working in them. I can see the sun and feel the warmth of the wind as it gently whisps and glides through the trees. I can see the children playing with a football in the street, or playing badminton and laughing and running around barefoot or riding a bicycle without brakes and flat tyres. It is a place where values are deeply rooted in age old traditions and family life, and although there is a tendency on my part to think that there are secret aspirations for modern comforts and western lifestyles with fancy cars and the all the trappings, there is genuine happiness and contentment and a welcome that comes with no conditions attached. In my mind's eye I can look back from Thamuang to England and wonder who got it right.

Reflections

Tomorrow, after three months of working in Asia I return to the UK for a week and I am looking forward to meeting family and friends again. In fact it was my Mum's 80th birthday this week and there is no better reason to go home and celebrate than that!!! Happy birthday Mum.
But the last three months have flown by and I have really enjoyed my time in Singapore. I don't blog about the job but it has gone well. Enough said! I have spent almost three week's with Khamma, so that must be a success, and our relationship is getting better all the time. We were hoping to spend more time with each other but Khamma needs to be around Thamuang to manage the house build and 'yak yak' occasionally to keep San the builder man in check. I have met many uncles, aunts and cousins and they all welcome me into her family. It is a pity we cannot easily get a UK visa for Khamma to travel to England to meet my family and friends and see what life is like compared to Thamuang. We applied for a visa last year, but we were rejected outright by the powers that be. The whole process is very sensitive and whilst I am not aware of rules like 'three strikes and you are out' we feel we should wait and build up a stronger case to include, for example, the house and show we have had a relationship for years rather months. So I think we wait until next year.

The other day somebody asked me if I miss England and I said I miss family and friends and real home, but.....
Do I miss the weather? No
Do I miss the politicians and games they play? No
Do I miss the traffic? No
Do I miss the threat of crime and being mugged on the High Street? No
Do I miss the miserable news about how expensive everything is and inflation? No

Do I miss a good pint with friends? Yes
Do I miss Manchester United? Well up to a point yes, but I can see all the games live without Sky
Do I miss the hills and being in the great outdoors? Yes

So what's good about Singapore?
The weather - very hot and sunny most of the time
The green and lush gardens everywhere
No crime to talk about
A fantastic ethnic mix where everybody gets on with life without interference or racial attitude
No traffic
I live next to the sea on the equator
Closer to Thailand
Happy and healthy people
The food

But it's going to be good to go home.