Cultural Differences

Moving into societies and cultures where values and expectations are different from the comforts and familiarisation of the little bubbles we call home has, over the years, become second nature for me. I am used to change and enjoy observing life from the inside whilst still feeling somewhat an outsider. Nothing surprises me anymore and I readily accept what goes on around me and do not hold judgement but relish in the behaviours I stumble across.

Life in Singapore has quite a few differences like this. The behavior etiquette when boarding a bus or train is very frustrating to the Englishman who believes the fairest way is the 'first come; first served' method. It is amazing how the small frames of the Asian commuters squeeze into the tiniest gap to get onto the already full train. Often I am left standing waiting for the next scramble with a will of iron that is matched by a crafty body serve or a dropped shoulder that wrong foots me and I am nutmegged again!

Once on the train the Singaporean commuter loves to talk into their latest Nokia mobile phone. But there is a peculiar habit of cupping the hand over the mouthpiece which I presume is to either prevent the conversation from being over heard or stop back ground noise from entering. It is amazing how this habit has formed and is copied by nearly everyone.

Singaporeans love having their photos taken but nearly always hold the fingers in what I would describe as a 'peace man' salute similar to hippie gesticulation of the 60's, and the opposite way round to the sign often associated with sex and travel in England! It is kind of cute and can add extra interest to a portrait, but how has the habit infiltrated the society?

One habit that takes some getting used to is the hawking and spitting of the Chinese male. I suppose that it is a fine feeling to clear the throat with a rasping vibration of the windpipe to dislodge the sludge that collects there over a period of time. Then to reverse gulp the sludge and debris into the back of throat and spit it out with remarkable accuracy over an unbelievable distance, and then rest with heavenly satisfaction and an uplifting feeling of general goodness and wellness and ready to take on whatever life throws at you next. It should become an Olympic event and then Singapore would win a medal!

There is also a huge amount of bureaucracy and I cannot get used to the fact in business I need to get authorised signatures and company 'chops' (the company stamp or seal) on every piece of paper before I can even so much as buy a bus ticket!

When we met Khamma and I realised that we were entering different worlds and knew nothing of the cultural differences between us. We read books and articles written by people who had ventured into this melting pot before us and were keen to tell the newbies what pitfalls lay ahead. There are many negative articles and the positive ones have been helpful but this is a personal journey and you can only prepare yourself so much before jumping into the cultural mixer.

So far I am the one that has to immerse myself in Khamma's culture and I happily do this without bringing my western expectations. My only request is not to make exceptions just because it is me and I 'might' not be used to the Thai way of life. Through Khamma I have been introduced to the village school, the temple and the boys in the band as well as most of her friends and neighbours. I have tried to learn how they interact and what makes them tick, and my reward has been an acceptance into their village and their lives. I will always be called the 'Farang' because that is what I am, 'a foreigner', but by playing in the band, working in the fields, eating the strange food and not making complaints the results have been amazing.

It is all too easy to decide not to adapt and judge everything in the village by what has been learned by a lifetime of living in a modern and relatively opulent society. Having an open mind and joining in the customs and trying to learn about the way people interact with each other gives a much richer experience; providing you can laugh at yourself and be prepared for others to laugh at you, and talking about you!

I look forward to when it is Khamma's turn to experience the heady mix of daily life in Diggle! Actually there are similarities but she will miss the daily visit to the rice and potato fields, she will miss the social chit chat as people sit outside their homes, she will miss the visit to the temple with food for the monks and I guess she will be surprised we don't go to the shop everyday to buy fresh meat and veg.

But I am hoping for a cultural reaction next Friday as we go to the Singapore opera to see Pucinni's Turandot with the tear jerking classic Nessun Dorma. I have been to the opera only a couple of times but Khamma will hearing this type of music possibly for the first time in her life. That and the huge theatre where it will be performed are very different from the village life. I hope she enjoys the experience and yet another small happening in discovering the differences between our lives whilst bringing them closer together.