Tesco banking - Every Little Hinders

Yesterday we decided to designate to sorting out jobs requiring a visit to Ubon Ratchathani.  First on the list was to change the ADSL splitter, which had not worked since TOT (Telecoms of Thailand) had condescended to replace the router after one month of failure due to a previous thunderstorm.  Eventually Khamma's fury scared them into action, but alas, only half a job was completed.  We called into the TOT office and without further ado; we exchanged the offending piece of plastic.  Simple really isn't it?

The second job was to exchange the shorts Khamma had bought me as a present.  They were too large, I am pleased to say, but the stall in the entrance foyer at Tesco Lotus was not open due to another shop opening somewhere across town.  Other stallholders informed us that the owner would return after lunch.  This did not really cause a problem so we rode on to job three.

Job number three was to service the motorbike.  It had a bald front tyre, squeaky brakes and a slack chain.  It was, I suspect, waiting for me to arrive in Thailand so that I could rescue it.  We called in, un-announced to the main Honda dealership in Ubon.  I was a bit stunned as Khamma drove straight through the plush show room into the service area at the back.  When I caught up with her I was immediately impressed with the employee's white uniforms and spotless workshop area.  It was like the pits in a Lewis Hamilton Formula One Grand Prix.  Khamma drove her bike to the end of the queue; a reception person wrote down some details, gave a quick estimate of the cost and told us to come back in two hours.

Honda Ubon - Clean, Efficient, Professional

To while away our time we had a coffee at the Black Canyon Coffee House and a wander round the shopping complex in which it is located.  After leaving here, we called in at 'Big Buys' and looked at air con units and fridges, both of which are much needed in Owerrrouse.  Khamma's face was a picture when she found out how much they cost!  Leaving there, we returned to Honda to pick up the bike.  It was ready on time, at the exact cost estimate, and it rode much better for a pint of oil and a bit of TLC.  Amazingly, it had cost only £22 and including the new front tyre, a new chain and the usual bits and pieces of a good service.

Electrical Health and Safety in Ubon

Stop number four was the drum shop.  I am looking forward to playing in the village Glone Neow (Drum Band) at Ubon's annual Candle Festival in July. Yo is training up the dancers so it is a family affair.  I was looking for a bodhran type drum.  This type of drum is becoming popular in Irish music, but has its roots in the Middle East.  Anyway, I am become very fond of bashing out reels and jigs, and, if I say so myself, I am becoming quite good at it.  Meanwhile, unsurprisingly my optimism was not upheld by the news that the drum shop does not stock anything approaching a bodhran. 

After a diversion to Ubon Watsado, the Thai equivalent to B&Q in England, to buy some electrical bits and pieces, we returned to Tesco Lotus where we ate lunch and exchanged the shorts.  Lunch was fantastic.  For 138 baht (about £2.70), we each had copious pork noodles, a dessert I cannot start to describe, and a Sprite.

The shorts exchanged we entered Tesco Lotus so Khamma could purchase cosmetics and I could look at fridges and compare the cost with Big Buys.  We soon realised there was some bargains to be had and we decided to buy a Samsung 12 litre capacity fridge for around £250.  I have noticed in south East Asian shops that sometimes there as many assistants as there are customers, and on a slack Monday afternoon, the ratio increases twofold.  Nevertheless, the deal was struck and the long laborious process of confirming delivery and payment began.  On the good side, Tesco charge only 70 baht to deliver the fridge (that's about £1.45!).  The not so good side was the increasing frustration I felt in trying to pay for it.  It is at this point where our cultures meet and I am reminded of the cliché where east meets west at the Bosphurus bridge in Istanbul.  Here in Tesco Lotus, Ubon Ratchathani the struggling Asian economy of Thailand meets the equally struggling western economy of United Kingdom head on, and neither, it appears, is willing to give way.

I wanted to pay for the transaction with my Tesco Clubcard Credit Card, which logically should keep the Tesco shareholders in each country quite happy.  I inserted my card into the card reader and waited whilst the modem dialled up the UK Tesco computer to complete the process.  It failed once, twice and thrice before the slightly embarrassed cashier returned my card to a very embarrassed card owner.

On the back of the card is a 'reverse charges Tesco Credit Card Helpline' number.  I called it only to be told by a computer generated message that reverse charge calls cannot be connected directly from Thailand.  I have to contact the telephone operator in Thailand to do this for me.  My next problem was that nobody knew who or what a telephone operator is or was.  It is a concept not used in the lives of those people who surrounded me.  I was stuck.  Reluctantly I used another credit card, but I know from previous experience that that card is now frozen until I contact the fraud department to explain that it is really me using the card in Thailand.  Anyway, face not quiet spared but at least not contorted or grimaced, my Egg credit card completed the transaction.

Determined to regain some face and respect, I returned to the shelves to buy a few things and pay for them with my Tesco credit card at another terminal.  My hunch was right; the transaction went through without a problem, suggesting the amount of the first transaction is the likely cause of Tesco’s rejection.  I proudly displayed my new purchase to the doubting cashier at the first terminal, and she just smiled, as Thai people often do, in that 'OK no problem' manner they have.

However, I still have an issue with contacting Tesco to let them know it is really me trying to use my card.  If I cannot dial the number directly and there is no telephone operator in Thailand to place the call for me, I can at least email a business colleague in England to call Tesco Credit Card to tell them to call me on Khamma's mobile.  That is proactive thinking, but I am still waiting for the call.

I completely understand how Tesco want to make sure that nobody is using my card without my permission, and I know Tesco try hard to keep on top of credit card crime, but why don't they know that tourists in Thailand cannot call directly to them to explain.  In addition, if you think this is a problem in Thailand it is bound to be the same in the rest of South East Asia.  Tesco have succeeded in tightening up credit card crime, but they have also scored spectacular success in making it infinitely more difficult for the humble cardholder to contact them and confirm everything is ok.  If you think it is just Tesco, then Nat West and Egg are the same.  In the past, I have held long discussions with Nat West about creating a simple message system on their secure website so that at least the cardholder leave a number for the fraud department to telephone back their client.  Not everybody takes their mobile with them to countries like Thailand where the roaming charges are prohibitive.  I do not understand how they have lost the ability for human contact between customer and service department.  A technocrat’s flow chart has succeeded in creating a closed loop system at the expense of isolating the client.  Worse still is that it appears Tesco have not even bothered to test the system to see if it works!

I checked on Google and found out how to speak to the Thailand Telecoms operator.  For future reference (?) dial 100.  The voice at the other end informed me they are not allowed to place reverse charge calls and gave me a number to dial that would put me in contact with an operator in England.  The number is 001 999 44 1066 - I like the logic '999' the UK's emergency number, '44' the UK international dialling code and '1066' the last time the UK was invaded by enemy forces.  The problem now is that the computer voice at the other end wants me to enter my British Telecom account number - WHAT!!!!!

Therefore, I am no nearer solving this than I was yesterday, except the problem seems to be reaching greater proportions like trying to scoop an overflowing jelly back into its cup. 

If anyone one can help, please leave a comment.